In the Headlights: Brian Helton
Brian Helton is “in the headlights” this month, and boy is he excited about it. When I ask Brian if he would answer some questions, he replied, “I am totally stoked about this! Just don’t be “half steppin’” with the questions. Come up with some really earth shattering, hard hitting stuff.” With this demand, I decided to ask Brain’s recruiters and fellow colleagues for some advice with the questions. This is what we came up with.
Q: What do you like the most about working at Mercer?
A: The people I work with. My staff.
Q: What are your hobbies/interests?
A: Playing music & yoga.
Q: What kind of music do you like? Favorite band/artist?
A: Everything from Bluegrass, to blues, to rock. I don’t have a favorite band. There are too many good ones. Currently I am into The Black Keyes.
Q: If you were a cartoon character who would you be? Why?
A: Charlie Brown, that way I wouldn’t have to change my hair.
Q: What is your greatest accomplishment?
A: Raising Liam (Brian’s son).
Q: Inquiring minds would like to know - what is your favorite color/flavor jellybean? Why?
A: Cotton Candy Jelly Bellies are my favorite because you get the flavor without getting “all that crap” all over your face and hands.
Q: Other inquiring minds want to know - how do you maintain that girlish figure of yours and what product do you use on your hair to keep it so soft?
A: I have 40 different shampoos. I pick by smell of which to use. What hair?
Q: Favorite place to eat besides home? Favorite meal?
A: In my mouth.
Q: How many amusement parks do you plan to visit this summer?
A: Just one. Cedar Point, the rollercoaster capital of the world with 17 coasters.
Q: Will you ever go over the road? Yes, as a driver...
A: Never, unless I can team up with Bobby Murphy.
Q: Do you have any advice for other people at Mercer?
A: Don’t forget who pays our bills. If you see a contractor, smile and thank them.
Q: Who inspires you to think and say what you do?
A: I suffer from mild retardation. I have no internal dialog. I have no buffer between my brain and mouth.
Q: Is there anything about your boy that you would like to share with us? Any stories?
A: One day I went to pick the boy up from preschool. He was 3 or 4 at the time. It was around Christmas and that day he was really excited about liking Chez-its. He told me he liked Chez-its a lot. So I agreed with him that Chez-its are good. Then he persisted about how he loved baby Chez-its. After about 5 minutes, I realized he wasn’t talking about Chez-its at all, he had been learning the story of Christmas at preschool and was referring to baby Jesus.
Q: So, how exactly would you (in any situation) "put some butta on it"?
A: When you play a guitar and bend the string to make it sound real bluesy. That’s puttin’ some butta on it.